I am opinionated and I don't care who knows it.

It's been months since I published a post. It's not that I haven't written anything. Trust me, I have a dozen posts here in draft-form. I didn't really think that I have to censor things I want to say -- I'm all for freedom of speech (as long as I don't have to hear it), but recently, I've been a bit more cautious. One of the main reasons I started writing these random blurbs was to release my bottled up thoughts (be it completely insensitive and idiotic or totally justified and realistic); never having a consistent journal or confidant to indulge this, a blog seemed to suffice. In the past few months, the words flowing from my fingertips seem to be more bottled aggressions...things that shouldn't be made public on the internets (or spoken outloud, ever). I think being pregnant has really bludgeoned through my barrier held together by tact. It must be the hormones; I am opinionated and I don't care who knows it.

In addition to the mean streak that appeared along with my growing uterus, I've also developed a vivid imagination. I've come up with dozens of conspiracy theories, none of which can be published (or even allowed to be in draft-form) here. I sort of feel deprived at times. What happens if my theories aren't just that, what if these things are actually happening? I can't just say, "I told you so." No one would believe me. But you know what, if any of them were true, I would definitely not say, "Hey, I knew this was coming. Go check out my blog." So I guess I'm okay with that.

Maybe the hormones have subsided and I can write 'nice' things. We'll see.

we're just riding the waves

I've always liked to watch tv, movies, and made-for-tv movies, despite how disturbingly predictable the stories have become. I can thank DH for my cynical approach to how I waste my time. Now, halfway through watching (or reading, as I've picked up a new hobby), I get distracted by how it's a modified idea borrowed from something else I've seen (how many versions of Cinderella can ABC family make?!) or is an idea trying to bank on the success of other popular themes (vampire romance).

Why do most stories have happy endings? Why do they go on and on trying to develop the characters, only to rush the ending in the most abrupt and typical way? What happens after the story is over? It seems to me that many stories end with the unspoken, "And they lived happily ever after. The End." It's borderline impossible. Granted that movies are ficticious, they're based on plausibility. Corporations know this, and that's why people buy into it. These are so plausible, I wonder if they are based on real truths. The love of my life could be living in the facing apartment, biological warfare is very real and could threaten civilization, and robots from space know that hot women can lure men. Unless at a climax of your life you just cease to exist, your life will never have a front page obit nor a "Happily Ever After" stamp tacked on it. Maybe we should all wear "Manic Depressive" decals: one day you're joyous that everything is falling into place, the next you're dragging yourself through work. But that's physics, right? "What goes up, must come down." Life is the ocean and we're just riding the waves. *HA, look at me making an ocean reference!*

Let's take a realistic look at some predictable endings:

• Scenario #1a:
  You met the most handsome, athletic, and compassionate man of your life... and he's in love with you.
  Real life, after the credits roll:
  He lets himself go. Now he's balding, pot-bellied, and emo.
• Scenario #1b:
  The best friend that was so hopelessly infatuated with someone else that it made him/her depressed and down-right crazy realized that you are The One.
  Real life, after the credits roll:
  You were actually in love with the hopeless, depressed, crazy version of your best friend. Now he/she's defined a new level of boring.
• Scenario #2:
  A lost child and a family reunite.
  Real life, after the credits roll:
  There's a reason why the child ran away/the family didn't care enough to notice the kid went missing. (Home Alone 2 tapped into this idea, but never came to full realization. It's obvious the family never wanted the kid, why else would they forget him at home, at the airport, etc?)
• Scenario #3:
  You left your job to find yourself, and as an extra bonus you snagged your dream job.
  Real life, after the credits roll:
  Due to economic downturn, the company can no longer afford to employ you and you don't qualify for unemployment pay.
• Scenario #4:
  You barely survived the worst night of your life after being hunted by madmen/ghosts/fate.
  Real life, after the credits roll:
  Your insurance won't cover the injuries/damages incurred as there is no proof that any of said hunters exist.
• Scenario #5:
  You just saved the town/country/planet/universe from horrific destruction.
  Real life, after the credits roll:
  You still haven't found a resolution for poverty/disease/gang crimes/overpopulation/ugly.

Perhaps this is why people are so unhappy. They compare their lives to movies and then reality kicks in. If only we could live blissfully in each moment and savor the good times. Who am I kidding?! Isn't it in our nature to be pessimistic? *HA! That's a good way to be happy, just have low expectations.*

Maybe I'll take up another hobby: Making short films to expose a reality to fiction.

Don't kid yourself, you know if I did make short films (regardless of content), you would watch it... and love it. Bite me.